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Waiting Part 3

Another downside to being an advocate for abstinence is that, some of my friends think I look down on them. I can easily say the ninety percent of my friends are having sex on a regular basis. If you know me, you know that I love my friends more than anything. I don’t judge them based on their extra curricular activities and they don’t judge me based on mine. They know how I feel about sex, and my real friends respect me for making the decision; a lot of them also wish they had waited as well. I do have some friends that feel like they can’t talk to me about these things, but I do my best to constantly reassure them that I will always be there for them, regardless of the subject matter.


The only other downside I can think of is the reaction from guys. I have dated quite a few guys and can only think of one that was seriously taken aback by the fact that I would not have sex with him. He had a hard time understanding why sex just wasn’t as important to me as it was to him. Girls, let me just say one thing- if a guy decides he doesn’t want to be with you because you won’t have sex with him, then he is not worth it! Don’t let some guy you’re seeing tell you that he loves you or he wants to be with you forever just to get you into bed. The pain, tears and heartache that will follow are really not worth a few minutes of pleasure.

A lot of people wonder how a person could ever get through a relationship without sex. Once most guys realize that sex is not an option they tend to peace out, but not all guys. Being a virgin is a personal choice, and if you have enough conviction behind it you won’t have to worry about temptation, right? WRONG!! So very wrong! Why, you ask? Guys can be very smooth operators. He will probably tell you that oral sex isn’t sex and that’s all he needs to be satisfied. He may also tell you that those activities are okay because you can’t get pregnant that way and he’s clean so you won’t catch anything! When did guys all of the sudden become comedians?


So what do you do? You figure, “we will just make out and do things with our clothes on”, right? Sounds great in theory, but what happens when hands start to explore? What happens when he’s under your shirt or pulling at his drawstring? Do you keep going and pray that you have protection? Or do you remember that you are strong and in charge of your body and say no? Other sexual activities not including intercourse are typically meant to be a gateway in that direction. Doing those “other” sexual activities are just a big sign for you guy telling him you will eventually cave in a sleep with him. The hardest thing to do in a relationship is to tell your boyfriend that you aren’t ready to have sex- or so you think! There should be nothing hard about saying no and saying I am NOT ready to go there. But I know some of you out there aren’t as comfortable with talking about it in general so I will cut you a little slack.


What makes it so hard? A lot of things actually, it really just depends on the person, the situation and the relationship. If you are the type of person that never opens up about their feelings or you are not honest with people when it counts, then you are going to have a hard time telling someone you don’t want to have sex. If you are in a relationship that is just starting or you are with someone you don’t know completely, then it is going to be hard. It is really all about honesty and timing. No, I am not saying you should tell a guy on the first date, you don’t want to scare someone off who could potentially be “the one”. If you are not going to wait until you’re married to have sex, you should at least wait to do the act until you completely know someone inside and out, which means you shouldn’t even discuss it until then. I am not  condoning premarital sex by any means, but let’s be honest- I’m not going to reach everyone.

That's it for tonight, hopefully this series will inspire young girls and guys to wait.

Many blessings xoxo



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